Green Teeth

By Charmin Foth

It is almost Valentine's and everyone's thoughts turn to love. I met Andy, my hubby, 17 years ago on December 9th. At the time I didn't want a relationship. I didn't want to date, I was pretty much over romance all together. I had been in an abusive marriage for seven years and couldn't believe the person I had become in that time. 

I had lost my self esteem and my sense of who I was or what I wanted out of life. I was burned out and struggling with my faith and feeling like a failure. Years of being treated badly had led me to believe I deserved such treatment. I was just beginning to figure myself out again, thanks to the help of some great girlfriends who dragged me out of the house and into the world again. They took me to line dancing classes at the local skating rink and concerts, keeping me from drowning in self pity.

On December 9th, my friend Beth, did exactly that, she drug me out of the house. Living in Nashville at the time, there was always an opportunity for musical entertainment. On that night David Lee Murphy was playing at the Wild Horse Saloon, one of Nashville's hot, touristy spots on 2nd Avenue, and Beth suggested we go and try out our new line dancing skills. So, rather than sitting at home on a Friday night eating fish sticks and tater tots, I agreed.

When we got there, we found a table and ordered diet Cokes. Not my usual fare, I'm more a Mountain Dew connoisseur, and I know you thought I was going to say something else, but I am truly a wild woman hanging out at a saloon drinking diet Coke. Beth and I had fun people watching and dancing. The wonderful thing about line dancing is it doesn't require you to have a date, and no one has to be in your personal space. Both of which appealed to me at the time. I had a strict rule, I never slow danced with anyone. That was way too close for me.

While Beth and I were there I had noticed a cowboy in a fringed jacket, Resistol cowboy hat pulled low over his eyes, jeans and boots leaning up against the wall. He was cute, in that lone wolf kind of way. The place was packed with people and we were lucky to have a table with a pretty good view of everything. They were having a beauty contest before the concert so the dances were spread out between the contest events. The place was crawling with very pretty girls and all types of guys, trying to get their attention.

When the guys couldn't get the time of day from the pretty girls, they would begin to look around and ask the rest of us to dance. I wasn't particularly looking for a dance partner, but this young man came up to me and asked me to dance. Since it was a "Boot Scoot Boogie" it wasn't as if I had to get too close to the guy, so I said, "yes." It wasn't until he got on the dance floor, and started smiling at me, that I realized he had horrible green teeth. When he got close enough to where I could actually hear what he was trying to say, I realized he had horrible green breath to go along with it. This is exactly the reason I was against dating. UGGH!

Beth and I laughed over the green teeth once I got back to the table, and I was still keeping an eye on the cowboy holding up the wall across the way. Beth and I may have made a few comments amongst ourselves about him too.

The beauty contest continued for a little while and then they played a slow love song.  Beth and I were talking and minding our own business, when I looked up and saw "green teeth" headed straight for our table. The cowboy holding up the wall must have seen the look of sheer terror come across my face, because just before "green teeth" stepped up to ask me to dance, the cowboy stepped in front of "green teeth" and asked me to dance. In that moment the cowboy rescued me from certain awkwardness, and left "green teeth" standing there looking dazed and confused.

Much to my surprise, I said yes to the cowboy. "Green teeth" did not look happy, but I was so relieved that the cowboy was taking me in the opposite direction, I didn't care. It wasn't until I was on the dance floor that I realized I had broken my own rule. Here I was dancing close to a tall cowboy with a buzz cut, ooohh, this could be trouble.

Not wanting to waste time I figured I'd find out exactly what was wrong with this guy and then get back to the table and enjoy the rest of my evening. We exchanged names, I told him I didn't usually slow dance and apologized if I stepped on his feet. He told me if a horse could step on his feet, then me stepping on his feet wasn't anything to worry about. I found out he was a soldier at Fort Campbell. I also found out he was recently out of a bad marriage too.

I asked him at least twenty questions during the dance. I was determined I was not going to repeat the bad relationships of my past. So I had this checklist in my head and on the first wrong answer, this guy was going to be history. The only problem was, he was getting all the answers right, and from the way he answered, he seemed to be pretty honest. That was different.

I asked him if he did drugs? No. Did he drink a lot? Mountain Dew (at the time that was all I drank). Those were the big deal breakers, because I had been around those guys, and wasn't going down that road again. I asked him if he knew how to read, what was the name of the last book he read. You name it, I was straightforward, to  the point and a little obnoxious. I was sure I had put this guy off.

When the song ended, he followed me back to my table. He made me laugh and spent the rest of the evening at the table with Beth and I. He ordered a coke (they didn't serve Mountain Dew) and we talked until they closed, and he still got all the answers right. I was amazed. As he walked me to my car, he asked me out for the next night. The rest is history.

I have been with that cowboy for 17 years and I love him more every passing year. Amazingly, I owe it all to a guy with green teeth.

Isn't it amazing how God works in ways we could never imagine.

Thanks for reading.